How to Go About Your Morning Piss if You're a Bum in Herald Square

Shuffle on down any of the many staircases to the token booth and enter a turnstyle as if you got two bucks to blow. Place a hand in the vicinity of the Metrocard reader, perhaps even with a scrap of paper or something in it to better simulate the commerce of commuting. Yes, you are indeed a productive and participating member of society. As you feign a bumbled pass at paying your fare, extract your penis from countless layers of soiled cotton through broken zippers and fraying thread. Turn slightly to the side as if comtemplating the intricacies of modern technology while in actuality protecting your homeless modesty. Urinate profusely, right down the side of the turnstile, leaving a pleasant, steamy puddle for all real-life commuters to splash in. Replace penis in pants, or not - Who cares? You're homeless! Pretend to think better of your proposed trip and shuffle back up the stairs to the light of day.